Saturday, June 20, 2009

June 19th

The fight is over......

I got a phone call yesterday around 4:20 right before I picked up my boys. Their dad had a seizure and they didn’t think he was going to make it through the night.

We went home so I could cancel our plans for the evening - working in a food booth to raise money for scouts.

We arrived at the care center about 5:20, walked into the room and after looking at him, I knew he wasn’t just sleeping.

He passed away at 5:00 last night.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Feeling Old/Strange/Guilty

It’s official, my ex-husband is now living in a care center, aka nursing home.

How many 43 year olds can say that????

He was admitted this morning while I was at work. I called him this afternoon and he sounded confused and asked if he had to stay. I discussed this with him last night and also this morning – we are doing it because he is not in control of his medications.

A couple weeks ago the nurse said the cancer was moving quickly, and in all honesty, I really hope it is….for everybody’s sake. His pain is increasing and I’m sure this wasn’t the way he wanted to spend the last days of his life.

Friday, June 12, 2009


Experience from last night - who would have thought that keeping the book for baseball takes more effort than hockey?

Good news on the home front as it looks like there is a room at the care center that we looked at the other night. They need to process his paperwork and he’s in!

Thank God! I want my house and life back!!!

I am so excited for my oldest son. In two weeks, he is heading to Wisconsin for a week long hockey camp hosted by the Waterloo Blackhawks that is sponsored by the Herb Brooks Foundation.

They are accepting 25 kids from his league and will be staying in a hotel chaperoned by the Waterloo Blackhawks.

The Blackhawks are a tier 1 junior hockey team playing in the East Division of the USHL.

Will this be a good or bad thing? The kid just turned 12 years old!?!?!?!?!

We can’t pass up this opportunity and he will have the time of his life………..

Our little league is hosting a baseball tournament this weekend so it will be a busy one, the weather should be decent and the cooler will be stocked.

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Care Center and Stuff

We finally had a night free from baseball and scouts last night. I took my ex to look at a care facility that isn’t too far from our house. Amazingly, we were really impressed.

There aren’t any rooms available right now but I have a social worker trying to find a home for him.

I called the nurse that had been over to my house yesterday and she is really concerned with his safety.

He is confused with what day it is so he is taking more medicine than what he should.

He started calling me up saying that the home phone and his cell phone are “broken.” Over the weekend, we came home and he had his cell phone torn apart.

I mentioned this to the nurse and a red flag went up as they are now concerned he might not be able to call for help if he needed it.

I called his brother that is retired and told him the situation. Don’t you think he could offer to take his own brother to his house????? Hell, they don’t even come by to visit.

I know it’s not easy, but wtf, it’s his brother.

The nursing staff is getting rather nervous as they are the ones dispensing the medication. They certainly wouldn’t be liable if anything were to happen, would they?

All of his meds are now in a lock box and I am putting out his daily dosages every morning. But, he is still accessible to the morphine and that is their biggest concern.

The doctor is coming over today. I’m anxious to hear what he says………….

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Crisis (Hopefully) Over

We live close to a YMCA and they have a summer program for the kids. I called them up and there are still some openings. I need to submit the paperwork plus "provide a narrative to explain why the experience of attending their program would benefit my children. Also explain any special situations that you feel we should know about."

OK, I could submit a book!

If anyone knows DodgeDieselGirl from JS, this is the YMCA she works at. Hopefully another JSer that I get to meet!

Take care,


Monday, June 1, 2009

I F'd Up Big Time

7 days left of school and I completely forgot to call the summer program that my kids were in last summer.

I contacted them today and they are full.

Now WTF am I going to do??????

Friday, May 29, 2009

Just Don't Push Me!!!

(This was posted on KCL - you may start seeing a lot of duplicate entries as it's so easy to cut and paste.)

I have never been more relieved that it is finally Friday. Why is it, when we have a holiday and the work week is only 4 days, it seems to be the longest week?

I’m not posting much, here or on KCL. My life is crazy busy and I don’t foresee any break.

But, I need to vent about last night. I had a family meeting with my ex's 3 brothers. I laid it all on the table. Made copies of everything I have done - social security, ssi, short term disability, applications to care facilities, gave them his bank account information and pin numbers, life insurance policy, etc.

I updated them on the daily nurse visits, she said he is “moving quickly” and are increasing his meds weekly. He is now up to 160 mg of extended release morphine twice a day, along with liquid morphine as needed. No wonder he’s hallucinating!

He has nothing, his life insurance policy is only $10,000, 401k is $500 and not much in his bank accounts. But, his brothers must think differently. I wonder if they think they will get stuck with the funeral expenses?

They agreed that his oldest brother will be power of attorney. But they keep bringing up the f’n life insurance policy!!!!! Yes, I am the bene, but I wish they could see that I’m not doing this for the money – there is none.....